A fact that I unfortunately discovered, counting down the minutes until my escape one Monday afternoon, willing away some time watching some clips of New Girl on YouTube. It started with one clip, one clip turned into two clips, two clips turned into three, you know the story. I was able to keep my amusement to a smirk while my favourite female protagonist – baited her boyfriend to become passionate by crouching down like Gollum and becoming bug eyed and throwing coasters at him while shouting: “Why do you have so many coasters?…. coaster.” And I really did manage to keep my sh*t together when Jess started singing to diffuse an awkward situation between and arguing ex husband and wife by singing and dancing.
But, unfortunately watching Jess (the great Zooey Deschanel) seducing a boyfriend wearing a starfish inspired rope lingerie, “dirty” talking in an old school new caster voice, while spanking him a bit too hard literally reduced me to a hunched over, hysterical mess at my desk. This could have passed as acceptable behaviour should I have an office of my own but I sit in an open plan environment with 5 other extremely quiet people. It was VERY difficult to explain what I was finding so amusing on a Monday afternoon, very difficult indeed. Especially since once I started laughing I could not stop, there was tears, snorting and a little bit of snot went on my keyboard.
I work in projects; nothing in my job is that amusing. Ever. It’s never: “Oh ha ha ha ha – that’s just so funny – you’ve lost a piece of kit” or “Har har har…. We are delivering early”. There was no way I could explain my hysterics. So I told a lie. I said my sister had sent me a funny story about my nephew. Everyone looked at me excitedly and asked what the story was and I replied: “It was just about him doing a poo at nursery. Ha ha ha, I get crazy when I’m tired”. I was under pressure and had never thought about what could be that funny! There were some very confused looks and I now suspect they may think I am a little bit stranger than previously suspected and definitely less trustworthy.
The lessons I have learned today are threefold:
- New Girl is too funny to for work – either watching it or thinking about it too much.
- You should not watch you tube at work – it is not a productive way to spend your time. If your boss would mind something so much you have to lie about it – don’t do it.
- You should not tell lies, especially not under pressure. If you feel like you must lie take some time, be very sneaky and thorough.
Do I blame myself for these discretions? Of course not. It’s Channel 4’s fault! (Am I allowed to name and shame?) They took away my favourite Friday night television without a word of warning and with no word of when it shall return. They have reduced me to trawling you tube for clips to get my New Girl fix, becoming hysterical, causing a scene and telling obvious lies. Sort it out channel 4. New girl is too funny for work and I don’t have a computer of my own at home!